thoughts...

I can throw an amazing party! Huge party! Granted they aren't much fun and I'm the only participant but I throw one great pity party! I mean REALLY! I have four children under four if your talking about age. Developmentally I have 3 under 1 and 1 under 3. My husband works long hours and we don't have any family in town. We are trying to sell the home we moved out of and it is taking years. Plus we are so close to closing and then we find a skunk living under the house and it was broken into but we are too far away to help. Our youngest son has had two open heart surgeries in the last year and has been hospitalized numerous times with congestive heart failure. Not to mention the two children we just adopted are severely underweight and developmentally delayed and one of them is out of control. He is older and we are having a hard time getting him help and he is having a hard time adjusting and...... you get the picture?

You know what? IT DOESN'T MATTER!! IT IS A CAKE WALK!

Ok before you think I've totally lost it....... I finally got a bit of time to jump on Facebo0k and WHAM! My little puny reality just faded into the distance. Its enough right? If we help those adopting. If we support those adopting? If we give of our time and our money? It is definitely enough if we actually adopt a child especially a special needs child. Throw on an extra and that is double points of enough. If thats not enough, then the fact that one is tremendously hard to deal with and I have no time to even connect with the outside world. That's enough right? Just cross that out on the 'TO DO' list and move on.

Oh that is so pathetic and so wrong.

I thought Bohdan was tiny but there is baby that was just brought home. Her name is Carrington and she is 3 years old and weighs 11 pounds. She is in the hospital fighting for her life. She is so malnourished her body is shutting down. Click her name for her story.

Then there is Kirill. Handsome Kirill. I have often looked at his picture on Reece's Rainbow. He has a Mommy and Daddy who love him. Who have held him, and kissed him and hugged him and yet the judge said 'NO.' NO?............ They are appealing the judge's ruling. There is also another family coming before this same judge soon. click on his name for more of his story.

Then there is Landon. Landon has gone to live with Jesus. Just like Nikita. Click here to see those who have gone to Jesus never knowing love this side of heaven.

After we had visited our boys a few times and were told that court was going to be delayed I sent out a plea for prayer. I was so scared of what might happen to them during that time. They were so sick and frail. I read a blog today and it put it into perspective. We always talk about how these orphans are living on borrowed time well that is not true, not by a long shot! They are surviving on borrowed time. My little Bohdan was just surviving and now he is living! He is cruising the house and getting loved on and played with. Before, my little angel just layed in a room, in a crib by himself for years just hanging on. FOR YEARS!!!

We need to storm heaven. This battle is not of flesh and blood. There are actual souls, BABIES, just surviving, waiting, wanting to live and to love. Even Yuri who I thought didn't care, he cares. He is trying so hard to be a part of this family and connect. He is seeking out interaction and is even trying to say, 'mama'.

So what am I saying? Thank you all for your prayers and support. Thank you Lord for my four boys. Thank you that Yuri and Bohdan are on the road to recovery. Thank you Lord for modern medicine and that Caius' and Bohdan's hearts were fixed. Thank you Lord for saving these two precious angels. Thank you Lord for slapping some sense into me that this is not over there is still so much to do.

So my life is cake and all my fuel for my pity parties are gone. I'm not saying that can't come back but wallowing in my self misery just won't work any longer and I, we, have to keep on going, keep on spreading the word about these orphans. Keep storming heaven for these families. And keep these precious forgotten children in the front of our minds because compared to their existence our lives, even when they are rough, are nothing compared to their lonely lives of surviving day to day.

ok and yes yes pics are coming soon. :0)