Ok, Ok, I'm sorry

My gorgeous Caius James

Asher Max laying with his teddy bear in the back yard

Yuri playing on his fire truck.

Bohdan, the resident ham.

Yuri blowing kisses.

Aren't they cute!

My little Bohdan, who if you ask him was made to be held ALL the time!

Yuri crawling on Bohdan. Bohdan didn't seem to mind THIS time.

This is when his chin was so chapped.

Thank you all for being so patient. I'm sorry I haven't posted but things are a bit crazy. Everyone is finally feeling better. Thank you Jesus!

Josh and I think Yuri is allergic to Dairy and Soy. If we keep those out of his bottles he doesn't throw up. Yippee!! Which means we have gone a few days with no projectile vomiting! Now if I just keep him from stealing Bohdan's bottle.

Yuri is doing a lot better. He is learning what he is allowed to do and not do. He isn't hitting the others anymore even though he loves to lay on Bohdan, lol. He is learning and that is exciting. He is very mobile and slides on his back all over the house. Him and I have bonded more and he actually wraps his arms around me and hangs on. I can't tell you how good that feels, I almost cried today cuz he was holding on so tight and giggling. He still has manic episodes but they are getting fewer and fewer. We aren't out of the woods by any means but I actually feel as though we are going forward instead of backwards.

Bohdan is gaining a little weight, I can see it in his face. We are working with him on sitting up and he is very VERY curious. He crawls right up into anyone's business to see what is going on. He is too cute! Right now he thinks he can't get off the rug onto the hard floor so his curiosity is contained, for now.

Ok that was yesterday, last night Yuri threw up, he just head butted Bohdan in the face and today he is a different child. He acts as though he hasn't bonded to me at all. He is super fussy and destructive today. I just don't know.

http://www.only1mom.com/2011/02/respite-careand-blogging.html

This is a great post about life after adoption. You know what they say is true, we project personalities onto the pictures we see on adoption websites. We dream for months about how a child will be and will act, when in all actuality we know NOTHING about the child. I knew this but I thought at the least the diagnosis would be close. Oh silly silly me. I think that might be one of the more frustrating things. Not being able to get answers about Yuri's issues. I wish I knew how to deal with him. I wish I understood what he was going through so I could help but I am just as lost as he is.

When I go out with all four by myself people stare (of course) and comment on my beautiful boys and then some will say to me how wonderful and patient I am. I just laugh.

Ok to set the record straight: I am not wonderful, I am struggling with patience, I love my children but am finding it hard to like them all (ok Yuri) all the time. I don't like this person I have become. I don't like feeling helpless and hopeless. I don't like feeling like I'm not a good mom to all of my children. I hate this depressed and frustrated me. My poor hubby inevitably gets the brunt of this deal. I am so short with him. Poor guy.

I am praying, I am trying, I have reached out for help but all the help takes time, all the doctors take time. Please pray we can get into the right doctor that can help Yuri and fast!

BTW, we had the ridiculous idea to try to go to church this Sunday. We are obviously gluttons for punishment. It could have been much worse but I was very happy when it was over. I do miss going to church. :o(

Update again

Asher ran a fever ALL weekend, so we took him back to the doctor and come to find out he has ear infections that are flaming and pussy. :o( poor lil guy. His rash was gone on Friday but it left in waves down his body. So his forehead would be clear and then a few hours later his cheeks would be clear and so on. So now we don't think it was the measles but an allergic reaction to the penicillin. Anywho, we are on a different anitbiotic and I got him into our chiropractor today. So hopefully we are on the down hill path to wellness.

Bohdan is still happy as a clam and unscathed through all the sickness.

Caius still has a virus. He has a cough and runny nose. He is also throwing up quite a bit which I think is due to the drainage.

And then Yuri.... His nose isn't runny as much and he is responding well to my voice. For example, He will crawl up to one of his brothers and raise his hand to hit and I can tell him, "Yuri, no hitting. Be gentle" and he will put down is hand and look at me. So I do believe he is learning. He is throwing up a few times a day and each time it is about 3 to 4 projectile spews. I hope this passes soon.

As for the neurological appointment, the diagnosis of a metabolic disorder is much worse than the CP or Hydrocephalus. We are starting at square one and have no idea what kind it is, what parts of his body are being affected, his life expectancy or his prognosis. We are having to go to a super specialized geneticist to try and answer all these questions. If anyone has any advice concerning metabolic disorders I would appreciated it. :o)

I will try to get you all some pictures soon.