Tuesday, November 30, 2010

What breaks your heart?

Neglected animals used to wrench my heart. Hurting children? eh.
I used to watch the popular movies of the year and be unmoved by the lack of respect for human life. I was completely desensitized to children suffering. How humiliated I feel now to know I was that way.

The change came when I read the blog allarepreciousinhissight.blogspot.com. Loraine prayed that her heart would break for what breaks our heavenly Father's heart. I thought that sounded like a great prayer. So I prayed it over and over again.

I have to admit... it hurts! It hurts to have your heart broken over and over. If it wasn't for God grace I would drown in my tears. Thank the Lord we have prayer! The are so many orphans that DESPERATELY need homes NOW!! YESTERDAY! and yet there is only a small portion of our population who are willing to read about these babies and even a smaller portion willing to help.

People think Josh and I are crazy! How are you going to do it? I just shrug and point up and say "I figure if God can raise the funds, break the barriers, answer prayers, perform miracles, then he can help me with 4 under 4." There are still the few others who even after this, shake their heads in disbelief and say that I don't understand what I'm getting into and how detrimental it will be on our other boys.

REALLY!! Really?! Well then maybe we should just call the whole thing off and let Bohdan and Yuri live the rest of their lives in cribs. Then one day my boys will ask me if we ever thought about having any other children and I'll tell them "Yes you had two brothers who we were deeply in love with but thought it would be a burden on you guys so we left them behind." Can you imagine? I would be embarrassed to say this to my children.

Whatever happens in my life I want to be able to say that I said "yes". That I was available! That I was obedient to God's will. Isn't that what He asks of us?

It was a beautiful post written by my dear bloggy friend Adeye that God used to talk to me and Josh about adoption. It hurts when people tell me, "oh I've tried to read that stuff but it is so sad I can't finish it." Thank goodness there is that little x in the right hand corner of your screen. Too bad these orphans don't have that same little x that they can click to get them out of every uncomfortable situation, or to fill their bellies when they are hungry or to get them hugged when they are lonely.

There are quite a few orphans that I have the inside scoop on. These babies need large grants to get adopted soon before they are transfered. I will update the 'orphans on our hearts' page with them.

But let us not forget about little Brady and Heath. Remember them? The great Bradini! If you haven't read that post, you need to.

Please revisit my post 'Lost Boys" and PRAY! PRAY your guts out that Brady and Heath find families. PRAY that they get grants! That the door to this institution remains open for adoption and that these children are not lost FOREVER! Join with me in my quest to raise money for them!

Spread the word about the quilt give away. A generous family has agreed to match whatever amount comes in for the quilt fundraiser and give it to the grant for the older boys (Brady and Heath :-) Lets make this count!

If you want extra blank sign up sheets let me know! Thanks for reading and hopefully for crying with me.


  1. Hi I have been a sort of lurker till now but I had to comment on this post:
    It is so, so true. I tended to shove "children suffering" to the backburner in general(shamefully) and I never even knew about these hurting orphans and their plight until I read about one of them ("Monroe" - now being adopted by the Cornish family) on a mothering forum I read regularly. God used that experience to open my heart and now that I have feelings for this, I have gotten a lot of the same comments you mention - family saying how hard it would be, how I should not subject my own son to this sort of decision - or at least be very cautious, etc... all I can think is, I am SO GLAD God did not abandon us as quickly as so many seem willing to just forget/block out these kids. I'm sure nothing about our salvation has been convenient for God - Jesus suffered terribly for us - yet He reached out to us. God has broken my own heart for these kids and it hurts, but I would rather feel the hurt than what I felt before. Husband is not on the same page, but I am praying to one day be blessed with one (or more) of these little ones in our own family. Meanwhile, I try to help in other ways as we can...
    Anyway, just... thank you for posting this, and my prayers have been with your family in you quest to get those two precious boys out of there!

  2. Amen girl! You said it just right. Love, love, love this post. I think you and I know those same people that get "uncomfortable" when something supposedly breaks their hearts... Preach on!

    Love wins,
    Renee Tam

  3. I fight with almost everyone in my life about all of this. I feel like I am crying all of the time, for each orphane as they find their forever families, and for all of them who do not. My husband and mother wish I would stop reading everyone's blogs and reading through profiles, and crying. They think that it is so sad, and they know that it's sad, so they don't really have to know anything more. I tell them that they obviously just don't get it. I know this is where I'm meant to be, in the heart of the adoption world, and the only place for me to go is deeper. I wish more people could see the importance of it.

  4. Thank you for a wonderful post. So very true.

    It seems I'm getting more intolerant over the years (surely it should be the other way??), but now I find myself a little irritated with people who try to block out reality because it makes them feel uncomfortable. Seriously, we _should_ feel uncomfortable as long as there is so much suffering and tragedy in this world...! Not just sit there in our expensive sofas switching the telly off when the news make us feel bad.

    Bohdan, Yuri and all the other RR angels are depending on people who don't back out. I look at the Angel Tree and realize that even though many of us want to block out the truth, there are also many, many people who fight for these kids. Lovely to see! :)

  5. You know, it is just so easy to push the x button and to act as we don't know. But the fact that we ignore all this, the things we rather would not know, doesn't change the fact that we SAW and we KNEW! Even though we hit the x button and turn away, and ignore the facts of what we saw. I believe that one day we're gonna stand before GOD and he'll say to us that we saw, but turned away....and we'll have no excuse! We'll stand naked before God with no excuses and no x-buttons to push. Just because we don't have the guts to face what is going on in the orphanages, doesn't mean that we can act as if it doesn't happen!I hope and pray that people's hearts will be turned back to God and that we will open our ears and answer to His calling.

  6. Okay, I am THRILLED to have found your blog!! Can't wait to read through all the posts!!