Crazy part is that they were in some of the clothes I brought for the orphanage. The shirt Bohdi is wearing is NB, the onsie he is in is 3-6 months and the onsie Yuri was in, I think, was even smaller than Bohdan's. It didn't have feet in it though so it worked.
So what is worse....... Of course this a hypothetical question. I know the answer, if there is a right answer. You know the saying, is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? Well if you are a person who has never loved than I would think your answer would be it is better to have never loved. If you are a person who has loved than your answer would be it is better to have loved and lost.
I thought of this often with my boys today. As many of you have said in your previous comments it will get easier once the boys see us as thier primary caregivers but for now in their eyes we don't meet any of their immediate needs. When the Nanny came to get them, Yuri was clapping and laughing and smiling to go back. Back to his safe room where he is fed and changed. He has no idea about what it feels like to be part of a family and of course that is not something you can explain. Yuri just needs to experience it and then he will know what true and unconditional love is. For now all they know is orphanage life and to them we are fun for about the first hour and then after that what good are hugs and kisses if lunch is soon. Today their lunch went by and we could smell it. The boys immeadiatley became aggitated and ready to go back.
As thier Momma, it does break my heart that they want to go back. That they, especially Yuri, are so excited about going back to the room they have always been in. But I realize for now that it is better since that is where they will be for a few more weeks. I also understand that this is normal and there will be an adjustment period when leaving their 'safe room'. It is just hard as so many of you have experienced. I am asking permission to give them a bottle during our visits to help with the transition.
Well as my friend Mel would say, only 4 more sleeps till court!! Yay! Please continue to pray for the judge, blessings, wisdom, salvation, or whatever God puts on your heart.
Happy New Year's to you all!!!
Soon. Very soon it will be your hands who fix their food, change their clothes, tuck them into bed. Soon. Once they experience that - in all its glory - they will NEVER look back. Soon. God is so good. Continuing to pray for those sweet boys.
ReplyDeleteThe fish face picture melts my heart. Praying for you and your boys! Have a safe and happy new year!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year to you and the boys!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, as soon as they are home and adjusted to family life, it will work out. In the meantime, it's good you manage to stay rational about it, although I understand how it must hrt your mommy heart to watch them long for their cribs. But your time will come!! :)
Oh my goodness what a great fishy face pics.. LOL too cute! Praying for all of you.
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